Is this really goodbye?
by The most beautiful of lies
Summary: An innocent kiss on the cheek, a misunderstanding, a confession in the rain... It took a misunderstanding for Lucy to make up her mind about leaving Fairy Tail. It took Natsu almost loosing her to realize he really and truly loved her... *One-shot / Complete*


When he woke up that day, Natsu knew something was wrong. He couldn't explain how, or even why he knew, he just did. Opening his eyes, he slowly took in the messy room he shared with Happy, his little blue exceed. When his eyes fell onto the momentous he kept from missions, the dragonslayer couldn't help but smile. The fake Salamander autograph, that was the first time he'd met Lucy that day in the town square...Lucy's maid costume, the Duke Everdue mission that Lucy gave up for jewels for the son's happiness...finally his eyes landed on a picture of he and Lucy in the Fairy Tail guild hall, arms around each other, grinning like fools, Happy in the background. As soon as his eyes settled on his blonde celestial mage friend, the feeling in his stomach increased...something was terribly wrong!

Tossing his blankets aside, he left Happy asleep and rushed out the door. The closer he got to the guild, the more the feeling increased. Lucy usually let him sneak in her window, but last night when he tried to get in, the latch was locked. This was unusual for her...no matter what, she _always _kept the latch unlocked for him. Figuring she'd forgotten to unlock it when she got home, Natsu tried the door...also locked. At this point, fear had begun to spike in his gut. He knew for a fact she was not on a mission, he'd seen her at the guild a couple of hours ago! Besides, they always went on missions together! They were partners! Two fourths of Team Natsu! If Natsu was honest with himself, she was the glue that kept their little rag tag team together.

Yes, Erza was intimidating, but it was Lucy that stopped his fights with Grey. They would fight and she would get this look in her eyes, just for a moment. A look so full of fear and sadness, Natsu instantly felt bad. It was like she was a small little girl, curled on her bed crying over a forgotten birthday...left alone to shed her tears, left alone, only her pain as a cold comfort. The first time he saw that look was the time that he vowed he would do anything – _anything –_ to see her smile again! If it meant loosing a battle to that ice – brain Grey, so be it. If it meant showing up at a banquet dressed as king and demanding people bow down to him, hell he'd do that again! He would do anything for her...anything to see that smile. To erase that sadness in her eyes...

Breathless from running so quickly, he entered the guild. Immediately there was silence. All eyes turned to look at him, bowing their heads, looking away each in turn as he sought them out. The atmosphere was so different then it's usual loud and rowdy fights, arguments and conversations. No one was at the missions board, no one was chatting, fighting, arguing, singing – nothing. All of them just sat still, the Old Man on the bar. As Natsu turned to Makarav, not even he would meet his eyes. Something was terribly wrong here! Why was no one talking!? Why was no one doing anything but sitting there?!

Walking further into the guild, the dragonslayer's eyes sought out the individuals of his team. Grey sat beside Juvia, stone still as the water mage clung to his arm, trying to hide her tears. Erza just kept her eyes downcast on her uneaten strawberry cake slice. There was a set of eyes missing...the ones he came here for, the ones he unconsciously sought out when she wasn't at his side. Straining his ears, sniffing the air, he used all of his senses to try and find the celestial mage. The scents of her were fresh but not strong enough – he knew she wasn't here. Just as he turned to leave, Grey stood and charged in front of him, stopping Natsu in his tracks.

"Hey, Flame Breath! Where ya' goin' so fast! To scared to fight?"

Not even Grey's insults could still the pounding of his heart. Something was wrong with Lucy! She could be hurt some where! She needed him! Shoving Grey aside, Natsu stalked towards the doors, only to be stopped by a tiny arms wrapping around his chest and waist. Looking down, for a moment his eyes fooled him and he thought he could see the pink Fairy Tail mark on the right hand. He felt his body relax...he'd found Lucy and she was safe! It was just a night mare, that sad look in her eyes of last night as Lisanna kissed his cheek...

Turning, his eyes met Lisanna's and the night came rushing back. Lucy had said she wanted to talk to him about something later...invited him over to her house for tea – something she had never done in the years they'd been guild mates, team mates and best friends. Lisanna had kissed him on the cheek because he'd managed to beat Grey in a fight a moment before, the Ice Make mage sprawled at Natsu's feet out cold as Juvia fretted over him. At the time, Natsu was so caught off guard, he'd frozen stiff at the contact, for a moment thinking it was Lucy that had kissed him! He could remember how his heart had sung, thinking it was his Lucy that had! When he turned and saw it wasn't her, he'd looked around, anxious...she was beside him a few moments ago! Looking around, it was then that he'd noticed Lucy coming back from the bar with his favourite drink – Fire Brandy. The alcohol was burned away, leaving a bitterly sweet flavour he loved...or used to. Until that day...until that look in Lucy's eyes.

Her eyes dulled, the light he loved so much leaving them. Their beautiful brown turned the colour of dull mud after a rainstorm. The colour he'd seen only when she was sad, or hurt. As if in slow motion, the glasses slipped from her hand, the alcohol leaving little fires on the floor where it landed. Hugging herself, she turned away from him, running out of the guild. Calling her name, Natsu had rushed after her but was to late as he made it out into the rain storm. She was gone. Pitch black and silent, the night seemed to mock him as he spent hours looking for her. Finally exhausted as the first rays of dawn came he'd fallen into bed. And now here he was the next morning, in the guild...back in the same situation. Lisanna was here but no Lucy...and it felt so wrong!

Yes, he cared for his friend, was ecstatic that she was back! But she wasn't his Lucy...

"Lisanna...let him go. He deserves to know."

The arms left him and he turned to face Levy, Lucy's closest girl friend in the guild. The tiny woman held tightly to the hand of Gajeel, her tiny frame shook with unspilled tears and she was unable to meet his eyes. But still she spoke, her voice quivering.

"S-She's gone, Natsu...L-Lucy..."

Each word, a knife to Natsu's heart. She was gone. Lucy had left Fairy Tail. He could only stand there numb as Levy explained. Lucy had come to her last night, to say goodbye and apologize. Asked her to wait until morning and tell the guild on her behalf before he'd come. She was leaving. Lisanna was back, Lucy had no place in Team Natsu. No place in Fairy Tail. No place in their lives. She'd had some offers from other guilds, Blue Pegasus being the first to offer. Lucy had declined them all, instead choosing to be an independent mage for awhile. She had no home to return to, Fairy Tail was that home and she'd left the guild, so she would strike out on her own...

As Natsu listened to Levy's words, tears fell down his cheeks, yet he was unable to lift a hand to brush them away. Blinking out of his reverie, anger flooded him as he turned to the guild master sitting on the bar. Stalking over, Natsu punched the wall right above his head, yet the old man sat stone still.

"Why did you let her leave, Old Man?! How could you do that?!"

"Natsu...I could not force her to stay...the choice was hers and hers alone. You know that if any of my children decide to leave, I do not force them to stay. Lucy made her choice...I'm sorry, son...she's gone."

Anger burst through Natsu and growling, he charged out of the guild. He was done listening to this bullshit! Lucy wouldn't just up and leave like this! Not over some stupid kiss on the cheek! Anger gave him energy as he ran towards her house. As he expected, the door was locked. But that was alright. He had his own way in. What he didn't expect however was Loke to be standing there, guarding the window. As Natsu stopped before him, the zodiac spirit stood his ground, shaking his head. There was sadness in his demeanour when he set a hand on Natsu's shoulder...sadness in his voice when he spoke.

"I'm sorry, Natsu...Lucy asked me to not allow anyone through the door – or window - when she's packing."

"Packing? What are you talking about? Let me in there, I have to talk to her!"

A mute shake of the head was the celestial spirit's only response. Loke could see the pain in Natsu's eyes, hear it in his voice. Not able to trust his voice, he instead stood his ground.

"Loke, please...she can't leave! I have to talk to her!"

Why was everyone stopping him?! Why would no one let him talk to Lucy! Why would no one let him tell her that he -

"Natsu? W-what are you doing here?"

Lucy's voice cut through him like a knife and all strength and will left him. Reaching out and taking her hand in his, he fell to his knees and let the tears fall to the cold stone ground below. How could she have not known he would come for her? He always came! Whenever she called his name, he was at her side...whenever she was in danger, he kept her safe from it, he rescued her...when she cried, he held her...gathered her tears and stayed his own, so he could comfort her. And yet here she stood, surprise clear on her face at him showing up here?!

"You were going to leave without saying goodbye..."

All the missions...all the fights and near death experiences they'd been through together...all the good times too. The day she taught him to dance, though he was mortified beyond words to be dancing, she held his hand tightly in his, humming along to music only she could hear. The first time he'd slept at her place. He'd snuck in the open window, just sitting there watching the rise and fall of the pink blanket resting on her moon kissed shoulder...gathering the courage, he'd removed his sandals and vest, folding the scar neatly close at hand and slowly slipped beneath the covers. Still seemingly asleep, she had wrapped her arms around him, resting her head in his shoulder. When morning came, the two wordlessly went about their normal routines...she'd even made him breakfast – food enough for two people! Of course she called him an idiot and pervert for breaking in while she was sleeping, reprimanded him and told him to not do so again! Yet...come the next night, her window was unlocked...an extra pillow beside hers on the bed. Again she wrapped her arms around him, held him close as he did her...

"Why, Luce...?"

Her hand was shaking in his as she to fell to her knees in front of him, tears of her own falling. Natsu's arms ached to hold her close, his lips itched to kiss away the tears, whisper to her that he was here and always would be. It took all of the remaining will power he had left to not gather her in his arms and whisper the words his heart screamed! First he needed an answer...

"Lisanna is back...the original Team Natsu is back and the whole guild is happy...they don't need me..."

It was a lie and they both knew it. Growling, Natsu grabbed her wrists and pinned them against his chest, anger laced in his voice, the tears falling to mix with her own.

"Don't lie to me, Lucy."

"I'm not lying, Natsu. I-I want this...I want to – leave...I want to leave Fairy Tail. I'm done with being in this guild! You guys destroy everything, you and Grey constantly fight! I'm as strong as I'll ever get with Fairy Tail – so I'm done!"

Closing his eyes against her words, Natsu's whole body shivered as he gathered Lucy in his arms. He didn't believe her for a second. Every word passed her beautiful lips was a lie and there was no point in calling her on it. They both knew it was, both felt it in their hearts, deep down. Instead, Natsu finally spoke the words he'd wanted to say for so very a long time...

"And you call me the idiot...Lucy..."

When he wrapped his celestial mage in his arms, she tried to push him away, a last ditch effort to try and leave. Natsu only held Lucy tighter to him, refusing to let go until he got an answer...until he said what he came to say!

"Natsu, what are you talking about...?"

"Lucy...you don't want to really leave Fairy Tail do you? You can't leave...Lucy, you can't leave me. It's not about the others, it's about you and me. Lucy – I love you! I love you enough to let go of you...but if you're leaving...I'm coming with you."

Letting her go, Natsu stood, straightening his back so he stood tall, determined to follow Lucy where ever she went. He loved her and Fairy Tail equally though differently...but he would give all of it up in a heart beat to follow her...to see her smile that beautiful smile he loved so very much...to be there to catch her tears as they fell...

"Natsu...? You...love me...?"

"Yes, Lucy. It took me awhile to figure out, but I do love you...I wont force you to stay, but until you tell me otherwise, I wont leave your side..."

Agonizing seconds ticked by as she was silent. As Natsu looked on, Lucy slowly stood, her whole body shivering as she cried. One step and she was standing in front of him...one step and her arms were around him, her body pressed to his – right where she was meant to be all this time. Wrapping his arms around her, Natsu held her close, just barely able to make out her hushed words.

"I love you to, Natsu...I don't want to leave you, or Fairy Tail...but...Lisanna...?"

A growl escaped Natsu as he held her tight against him, refusing to let go. She'd finally spoken the words he most desired to hear...Lucy loved him! She returned the feelings he'd been so unsure of until he thought he'd lost her forever...

"Luce...Lisanna is just a friend...that kiss, it meant nothing to me! You're the only one I love this way. You're the only one I want on my side, on missions and in life...every time you leave, you take my heart with you..."

Before anymore words could be spoken, Natsu dipped his head, his lips catching Lucy's just as she was about to speak. Greedily he kissed away her words, holding her tight against him. Greedily his heart sang as she to clung to him, both of their tears mixing and falling with the rain that had begun to pour. He'd found his home and reason to fight in Fairy Tail...he'd found his love and reason to smile in Lucy...

No matter what, until the day Lucy sent him from her side, Natsu would stand beside her, in missions, in life, in love...

With Lucy at his side...he was home...


End file.
